|as trashy as the one on tc
||[Dec. 7th, 2016|07:26 pm]
dont fall in love with me, because there are days i cannot deal with myself. those days are the worst, with guilt and regrets gnawing at my back. i will feel inadequate, for myself and for you. bad memories haunt me and i can only love you in pain. those are the days i want you to hold me close, but i reach out my hand only to retract because i ask myself if anyone can love someone with calluses on the palms of her hands? those are the days i want you to tell me it's ok, in spite of, but the itch of self-defense crawls on my skin and falls out of my tongue like acid. i dont need to push you away and you'd have already known (but you never really know). those are the days that obscure you from me like overcast. i think sometimes maybe you have the potential of lightning, to burn them to the ground, and save me from myself. but other days i think you two conspire to drench and burn me. after all, you cannot fall in love with someone who cannot forgive herself and hangs her mistakes like a noose around her neck. you will grow tired of trying to fix her because she will always be broken and keep breaking. the truth is you cannot fix her, and that is why you dont fall in love with someone like me. you cannot fall in love with someone who cannot love herself. you cannot.
(maybe you cannot love me, not because i push you away, but because you choose not to)